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By Lester Haines


German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing
one of the world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of
polished siltstone lovingly created around 28,000
years ago.

The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave
near Ulm, Swabia, by a Tübingen University team.
Professor Nicholas Conard, from the university's
snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and
Quaternary Ecology, explained the excitment to the BBC
thus: "Female representations with highly accentuated
sexual attributes are very well documented at many
sites, but male representations are very, very rare."

Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia -
from France and Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to
have "any representation of male genitalia from this
time period is highly unusual".

There may be a good reason for this - the German
sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap
flints, and was reassembled from 14 fragments. Despite
this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination,
Conard speculates that the life-size member may have
been used as a prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively
notes: "It's highly polished."

Those interested in the sex lives of our distant
ancestors will be able to cop an eyeful of the Hohle
Fels phallus when it goes on show at a Blaubeuren
prehistoric museum exhibition entitled "Ice Art -
Clearly Male".

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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