
02-14-2005, 06:21 PM
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Everybody Stretch!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
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I totally agree with Oldfart here...KEEP the messages he leaves on your answering machine! Record him as often as possible from now on in and keep a written log book of all his nastiness towards you. Hopefully you haven't deleted the last message where he was yelling at you after he called back and got the machine. Go buy more tapes and change them after each of his calls and keep the taped messages in a place where you and someone else knows where they are...but not near the phone or out in the open! Or if it's digital machine, get a recorder and tape the digital messages if there gets to be too many...but especially before he gets there. Just keep records!
As for the restraining order...even if you don't believe they are of any help, it IS a record of this problem...and it's official! jseal had a great idea about the emails[s]...yes they are admissible in court (if necessary), so save them too!
If you don't want to change your number...take your personal message off your machine. The phone company might have a prerecorded message that you could use temporarily. Their messages are electronic and non-descriptive and you can leave all the personal stuff out of it...example: Hi...it's "cherrypie", but I can't take your call right now...etc. Instead...a phone company message (in that horrid electronic voice)...example: No one is available to take your call...please leave a brief message after the tone...*beep* He might think you've changed your number and stop calling at least! Tell your friends about it and keep it this way for as long as necessary. Don't delete your caller ID records! They have day and time on them!
You HAVE to make it clear in that email that you DO NOT want him to come over! Tell him it is not his "our home" to come to, but that it is YOUR HOME and he is not welcome in any way, shape or form!
Be sure to ALWAYS have people around you when he is in town. Don't give in to his mind games hun. He is playing you with his weeping and then yelling. It's a classic technique even if he doesn't know he doing it. But trust me...he knows. He's trying to break you down from one extreme to the other...passive/agressive if you will! Little do they realize...this is the biggest turn off of ALL!
Be safe, first and foremost...and keep us informed when/if you can!
((((((((cherrypie)))))))
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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.
~Thomas Dewar~
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