Lil, this would make it almost impossible to say anyhting, as you would be responsible for a context that someone else may take your comments in. I wouldn't want people to hold back from expressing an opinion for fear of upsetting someone they don't know on the other side of the world.

I appreciate that I posted a crappy ill-composed late night response, and Sixsense I apologise for what has happened to your thread.

I don't think its too hard a distinction to understand, married or not married - why else do so many people ask you?

My experience of open marriages is like Scotzoid's - usually one partner is not being honest and I can't find anyone who knows one that has been successful. Anyone?

Your situation Lil, is a new one for me, and you describe a mature loving issue that is being honestly explored. You know I wish you and Mr. Lil well in this, but the evidence of experience suggests that you are treading a dangerous path as you clearly understand.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.