Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - You're sick kid, grow up.

Sweetlady,

I can really see where you're coming from with this and I'm so sorry that you've had such horrible experiences which have left their mark on you (as they would on anyone).

It's worth remembering though, that different people have different ways of handling the hurdles that they've had to overcome and a common way of doing this is by developing a sense of humour. Often people who have a lot of experience with death (or racial hatred, sexism, homophobia etc) develop a black, politically incorrect sense of humour to help them deal with those traumas. Therefore in my experience it is usually the person you'd least expect who is telling the non PC joke (e.g. my step father was born and raised in Dublin and I know no-one who tells as many Irish jokes as he does).

While I agree that if we know someone has a particular sensitivity about a certain subject, then we should be considerate of their feelings that does work both ways. When someone makes a quip or a witty retort just because they think of it at the time, that person usually means no harm and if anything the joker in the pack is the one who has insecurities and wants to be enteraining and popular. By being offended by something when you know deep down in your heart that the person is a friend and meant no harm, you're touching THEIR raw nerve about whether they are a likable person.

In this case I highly doubt that the person(s) who've upset Belial, are off on their own little website or whatever torturing themselves about Belial's light hearted comment, but look at how Belial is feeling right now.

In my humble opinion, this world doesn't work without love and friendship and that means understanding, forgiveness and giving people the benefit of the doubt. I feel I know Belial pretty well and while his humour may be risque at times, I have no doubt that he wouldn't deliberately or knowingly hurt someone's feelings - he's one of the most sensitive guys I know.

So is it right that his so called friends should 'punish' him for a perhaps misplaced or inappropriate quip? We all make mistakes, we all put out feet in it at times, and it worries me that if we spend all our time minding our Ps and Qs because there might be someone who's offended, that in fact, we won't make jokes about anything and we'll end up living in a dull humourless world.

On a personal note, the time I wish people would be considerate to what 'others might have been through' is not when they're making jokes, but when they're driving their cars. As someone who was rear ended by a lorry last year, I have since come close to having panic attacks when someone's tail gating me and once nearly caused an accident because of it. I personally feel that being sensitive to others feelings on the road is a far more important issue than being sensitive to people's feelings when indulging in light hearted banter in the pub.

That, however, ain't never gonna happen so unfortunately I'm just gonna have to get over it.