Josh,

I like anal if and only if I am in full control of the situation. Thus, the only way to do that is by myself. That works fine, because my SO thinks anal is a bit "weird" and doesn't want any part of doing it. I've been working on him gently for awhile, but I am not getting anywhere. I'm a bit of a dom myself, but still I won't force the issue on something he states that he really does not want.

Anyway, if you're new to the anal scene, even alone, you need to start off slow and gently. Even a finger can seem very hard. You've got to keep in mind also that the anal and rectal linings are DELICATE. Also, sex is not their primary use. So, that having been said, you need to have something soft enough to be very comfortable to you, with NO sharp or rough edges, and use PLENTY of lube.

I would suggest getting a small, as soft as possible (soft rubber sort of thing), butt plug at your local adult novelties store. Be sure you get one with a broad base, or you could possibly get it in your ass and be unable to get it out yourself. It would be no fun to go to the hospital and explain how you have a butt plug in your ass that needs to come out. You would need to, otherwise you'd face a life threatening situation in a few days. Anyway, so much for the warnings... Place a towel on your bed to keep from accidentally causing a mess on the sheets. I reccomend laying on your side, with your dominant hand on top. Bend your top knee, and place it in front of the bottom leg. This is a very comfortable position for anal masturbation. Put some lube on a finger and with a finger rub your asshole with the lube, and feel how *nice* it feels. When you're used to that, and want *more*, lube the butt plug liberally, and gently insert it into your anus.

There are two sphincter muscles. The first one is right at the opening. The second one is in about an inch. So, when you insert this, after it's in about an inch, you'll encounter some resistance. Stop there, and allow yourself to feel used to having something inside of you. That will take a minute or so and this inner sphincter will relax. Then, slide the butt plug in as far as it is comfortable. If you even start to cramp your muscles, you've gone too far. Pull it out some then, or out all the way even, to allow yourself to relax. This won't take long. Then, slide it back in. When you can get it in all the way, allow it to stay there for a few minutes, until you're very used to it. Then, begin ass fucking yourself with the butt plug. The muscles in your rectum will push it out. You can let them involutarily push it out slowly, or actively get involved with the muscles in your shitter and push it out quickly. Then, you have to push it in by hand.

If you're getting it in all of the way, and feel that you want more girth inside of you, you need a bigger butt plug. See what the store has.

You can also use a dildo, provided it does not have any sharp edges. You don't want to hurt yourself. It's a little different fucking yourself with a dildo than with a butt plug, as you've got to push with your rectal muscles to get it out, or pull with your hand. You can (sometimes, depending on shape) contract your anal sphincter to pull the dildo into you. It feels very different having a bulbous head of a dildo deep inside your rectum.

Also, be aware that the average person's rectum is naturally about 6 inches. At that point, the passageway makes a 90 degree bend. You will not be able to get a dildo any deeper than that, at least at first. If you want something bigger than that, again, take it slow. Press the dildo in GENTLY a little deeper than 6 inches. Pull it out some. Maybe fuck your ass a little bit with it to get you relaxed in there again. Push it in deeply again, then release. And again... and again.... and again... You can end up taking a lot more than 6 inches this way over time.

I would suggest using a fantasy of whatever sort to go along with your ass being fucked. The one I personally use is having a woman getting my ass stretched enough and ready to take some (anonymous) man's *huge* cock into my ass. She wants me to be as comfortable as possible when that happens, at some predetermined point in the future. Dom though I am, in this fantasy she tells me just what to do with various muscles and how exactly to push it in and out. It's not so much ordering me as giving instruction.

Regardless of just what sort of fantasies or "help" you use to get or keep yourself excited, there's always cleaning up afterward. Wiping with toilet paper can be somewhat irritating. I use baby wipes. One will clean up the anal area, and get it free from feces and excess lubrication. As I say, this is different than the "normal use" for this area, so some things can happen that will cause irritation. If you enjoyed it tonight, you certainly do not want to spend the next 2 days too sore to think about it.

Try different shapes and sizes. Start small. Use PLENTY of lube. Be sure nothing sharp is in there. Be sure nothing gets lost in there. Have fun.

Beth