Quote:
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Originally Posted by jseal
Do you feel that I am arrogant to expect that those with whom I discuss subjects I wish to better understand should be able to support their positions?
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yes, it is arrogant that you believe anyone you challenge should be responsible for providing
you with information that would help
you better understand. that they even care whether or not you think they have supported their posotion,
and that said information must be sourced as well as being subject to your approval. it is provoking, the way you challenge certain statements to debate and censure and it is deliberately provoking because most of the ones you single out are made in obviously exaggerated complaint. it is rude the way you sound falsely polite and innocently interested when you ask for proof. and it’s pitiful, the need you had to research my post history. (and personally insulting, since we’ve had many discussions ourselves and i have been courteous, non-disparaging, and broad-minded.)
i respect your intelligence. i admire your interest in world and local events, past and present. i love that you take the time to say happy birthday to pixies with a colorful thread and warm wishes. as i said, we have had several lively discussions ourselves and i enjoy them until you whine about my tone because i have pointed out a place where i believe you were the one whose words or actions were unjustified. i would not challenge people in the way that you do. when people are having a discussion, there is nothing to be so affronted by. when people ask in conversation, as you said, “where did you hear that?” they do not add “and i doubt you heard it anywhere reasonable” before they get the answer. they do not worry about shared references. they do not yell or laugh at or hound someone who’s said they don’t want to talk. not if they expect people to continue to want to speak to them, or even tolerate their presence.
you said you are aware of the difference between opinion and fact but you are a very poor judge of when someone is actually claiming they are stating a fact or making a half-joke. and a very poor judge of humans in general if you believe that false kindness will go unmarked as the dismissal it really is and that people will want to respond to you, moving the conversation forward in an interesting way, when you speak to them with such acerbic self-importance. or perhaps you do know the difference, but choose to ignore it. i certainly feel that you know the difference between discussion and debate, but you choose to blur that line as well.
my father once asked me, "how do you see people? mostly good, or mostly bad?" i said mostly good. he told me i was naive. in for a lot of disappointment. that people would always be trying to take advantage. but he was wrong about how it would make me feel when that happened. when i give people the benefit of doubt, it is not my own doubt that benefits.