To be honest, I think you're misreading what I'm saying, but since I only had 61/2 hours sleep last night, and since I've pretty much averaged that for the last 113 days, I really can't be bothered to bat this argument back and forth Jude.

You underestimate my intelligence and ability with the English language if you think I don't realise he's saying it's not always OK to cheat.

However, every time we have sex with someone we run a risk of pregnancy or catching an STI. Even if condoms are being used (I mean would you have sex with someone with HIV, even if using a condom? I wouldn't dare) that risk is still there. Even if you've been sterilised pregnancies do still happen.

A worst case scenario:

Say my husband decides that he is justified in having extra-marital sex for whatever reason, because sex is important to him and he's not getting it at home - maybe because I have a serious illness or disability. The person he happens to sleep with is HIV positive (his partner hasn't told him, because she doesn't know, or she chooses not to disclose it, because, sex is important to her too, and she's can't get any when she tells people she has HIV.) The condom splits and my husband becomes infected, which is passed to me, during his daily caring routines. He has a cut finger from preparing my meal and in the process of helping me wash my privates, giving me my daily shot, changing my colostomy bag....whatever it may be...he passes the infection to me leaving me free to pass it onto our kids, other family members etc etc.

Or maybe he just risks giving my son a half sibling, so that he now has to share his father's time and financial resources with another child.

Sex has consequences, therefore it's important to know whether your partner is monogamous. It's naive and ignorant to think otherwise. Sex for the sake of physical pleasure alone is trivial and therefore not an acceptible reason to risk a meaningful relationship.

The point is, the unfaithful party is choosing to take the risk of sleeping with someone who may or may not have an STI, or creating another life in this world, the person who is being cheated on has no choice as to what they are being exposed. That is WRONG and you can't argue with that.

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