Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - A Commemorative: 9/11 ~Remembered~

I want to end this thread by saying this was NEVER about me! I know a thread would have sprung up if I'd have never posted this one. I am not a patient person and when I get a notion I act on it with fervor. I have this inner push/pull thing that says......I MUST do this now! And so I posted this thread prior to the day of memorium to give everyone a chance to get a feeling or thought across. I wanted to make a place to put down your feelings...and mine!

I could barely sleep last night and I woke especially early today. I actually got right out of bed. I am a snooze button slammer but I didn't even touch the snooze button today. I showered immediately (never do that...I coffee and groan for bout a half hour). Fed the cat and let him out and reluctantly turned on the television. I had a love/hate relationship with the TV this morning.

I watched some coverage of the nations memorial and I started to cry........I had to leave the room but I left the TV on. I was like a push-me-pull-you! You know........the Dr. DoLittle llama that had a head at both ends! I didn't know if I was coming or going. I pretended I was ok and said goodbye to my hubby. Whew! He was gone and I cried again. And then I wondered......what were his thoughts of today? Too late, he was gone for the day.

I came here to Pixies.

I perused the forums and listened periodically to the news in the background. I PM'd my messages and I went to chat and found a few friends to chat with but they were in and out and I didn't want to bring anyone down. One friend and I chatted about everything but the days actual events and for a while I was grateful for the relief from emotion. We laughed........little did he know I was crying too!

I made myself late for work as I had no urge to leave this house or computer for it's safety to me at the moment. But I had to finally leave. I just gave a polite excuse! I never do that! I love chat and I always give a long speech as to why I am leaving and when I will be back.....even if no one cares...I just could never leave a room without proper goodbyes! Momma taught me better!!!!!! If I ever do leave fast...it's an emergency of some sort.

I gathered my stuff for work....or so I thought! I arrived at work with a book I thought would be of interest of the days memorial and I left it in the lunchroom for anyone who wanted to look through it. I had my lunch and my truck keys. But I forgot my purse and I forgot my attache with all my "meeting" papers in it. I didn't have any notes for the day and I didn't have my wallet with "my life" in it. I realized...I am in a daze! I had to snap out of this.

At lunch I swore I was just going to go home, but I was needed and I had to stay. At 9:55am I shut down my machine and I turned off my radio and I shut down my computer I went outside for the nations "Moment of Silence"......and the church bells rang! I looked up and to my surprise everyone from my company had joined me. I didn't even know that they knew of the time frame for the reverence. I cried again!

I have to make this clear......I am not crying for me! I am expressing what I thought every human would express in the eye of such a horrific event. I still, at this moment, cannot believe there are people in this world that could act and react to this event with qualification of a job well done.

This day is done.....I am still very sad........but I feel we have done our job as a nation of pride. And I feel that although I will never forget this day (and it's reason for being from one year ago)........I will not dwell!