Arrr....I be Admiral Treacher (I seem to have turned my back on the navy in favor of the skull and crossbones. Interesting)

If you've never read them, check out the Pirate pickup lines

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“Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.” - Buckminster Fuller

"A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself." - Guildenstern, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”