
08-02-2005, 04:40 PM
|
 |
pixie of the wood
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
|
|
i'd still give the advice. not so much for a clear conscience but 'cause i have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. (i have a sister much like your family member). i never say i told you so and i don't put conditions on my advice but i do find myself saying 'this is your bed...you made it. now, you can sleep in it'. i have no problem being unsympathetic when sympathy is not deserved. i also tend to not let her shit bring me down or suck me in. it frustrates her for sure because she believes the world...and i, for that matter, revolve around her. she's done quite a bit of sticking her nose in my business and has even gone so far as to insinuate...ah hell, who am i kidding? she didn't insinuate anything....she came right out and said it...said things that are untrue and hurtful and even hateful to my husband, trying to drive a wedge between us. it won't ever work but she doesn't get...selfish people never do. quintessential sister move here--when she once told me...in a slurred and snotty voice... that she loved my kids more than she loved me and i replied that i definitely loved my kids more than i loved her she was shocked and actually hurt...didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. i love her, she is my baby sister, but sometimes i don't like her very much. i don't like to see her hurt so i try to help when i can but i can't let her stubbornness, stupidity and selfishness ruin my life.
how the hell did i turn that around to be about me? i'm so sorry, lou.
you need to decide how far you'd go to help, and how much you're willing to give up and sacrifice to help. personally....i draw the line at sacrificing my marriage or my family. sometimes, the hardest thing to is to walk away, especially when you feel the strong ties of blood and responsibility. but it's also true that, in the end, she is responsible for herself and must learn to navigate life on her own just as you are and do.
family has it’s own set of twisted problems made just that much more complicated by love and blood but it doesn’t make you a bad person just because you are tired of getting dragged down and sucked in.
i was absolutely no help(((((hugs))))
|