Stupid Ads
 

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG... BITES.
> > >
> > > ---------------------------------
> > >
> > > FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
> > >
> > > ----------------------------
> > >
> > > FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
> > >
> > > -----------------------------
> > >
> > > GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------
> > >
> > > FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE...
> > >
> > > BETTER BE A REWARD !
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------
> > >
> > > 1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
> > >
> > > ---------------------------
> > >
> > > SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------
> > >
> > > COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------
> > >
> > > NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------
> > >
> > > HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------
> > >
> > > GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
> > >
> > > -----------------------------------------
> > >
> > > NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------
> > >
> > > TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING
AND
> > > FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7-- $9 PER HOUR.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
> > >
> > > ----------------------------------------
> > >
> > > ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.
> > >
> > > ------------------------------------------
> > >
> > > (AND THE BEST ONE)
> > >
> > > FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia
> > > Britannica no longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows
> > everything >>

Irish,

In a winow of a building across the street from my office:

"Free Phone Sale"

Dog for sale.Will eat anything.Very fond of children.