Lurid Limericks.....
 

all my own work.....

I had a girlfriend named Dawn,
our sex life.....a bit of a yawn,
I aked with a smile,
would she do it dog-style?
but she wouldn't come out on the lawn!

I knew a young lady named Bess,
in a biblical sense, I confess,
I said "tell me true,
is this good for you?"
she answered, yes, Yes, Yes, YES!!!

There was a young fellow named Bob,
who related his plight with a sob,
"even tho' I'm quite young,
I'm extremely well hung,
and I constantly stand on my knob!

There was a young fellow named Fred,
and his favourite trick on the bed...
was really perverse,
he'd somersault in reverse,
while trying to give himself head!

I asks this young lady to dance,
The nightclub was filled with romance,
the money I spends....
later pays dividends,
'cos that nite I gets into her pants!

too funny:D:D:p

There was a young lad,named Durkin,
Who was always jerkin his Gerkin!
His father said:Durkin,stop jerkin your Gerkin,
Your Gerkins for furkin,not jerkin! Irish

I've posted these in smut games but they fit nicely here !

There was a young lady from Leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn't for fame
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.

There was a young actress from Crewe
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew
The Bishop was quicker
And thicker and slicker
And two inches longer than you.

There was a young plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee
She said stop your plumbing
I think someone's coming
Said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!

There was a young fella from Harrow
Who had one as big as a marrow
He said to his tart
Try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow.

and finaly

There once was a fellow named Dave
Who dug up a whore from her grave
She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit
But think of the money he saved.

Thanks for the contribution Fussy and Irish, I thought everybody would have a favorite Limerick........

There once was a man from McClair,
who made love to his wife on the Stair.
While in mid-stroke
the banister broke
so he finished her off in mid-air.