I believe as Lilith mentioned above that an affair is where your heart is completely involved. I also believe that you can end up cybering with someone and it not be an affair. But that one you keep going back to and discussing in-depth about your feelings for one another that that is.

I have had a situation like that and learned a great deal from it. Although I still care for this person more than I could describe, it was an affair that I am not proud of myself about. I think I would have possible met this person in the RW if it kept going. Would I go back and change things if I could? Not on your life. ;) Would I do it again? No. Have I told my husband? No, I think it would hurt him to much.

Do I judge others for similar activities? ABSOLUTELY NOT!








Ouch I need out of this thread it is to damn serious! :P hehe

for a lot of people an affair takes two commodities that are in short supply
Time and Money;)

Having an affair/cheating on an S/O or spouse and hiding it/lying about it is a violation of trust... to me that is simple.

Those who view it as being o.k. don't have a factor of trust violation in their understandings between each other... I don't think of it as a jealousy factor... just an understanding between 2 people agreeing that the particular behavior...."affairs/cheating" is o.k.
Although they have different terminology for it.....

I don't judge what other's behaviors are.... it is their choice.... Would I do that.. no. There are many mitigating factors involved individually for a person to decide "cheating/having an affair" is o.k.

If I were in the frame of mind that monogamy wasn't for me.. I certainly wouldn't be with a person whose beliefs were totally opposite....

Cant always pick with whom you fall for.....

WOW! Your av just changed in my mid-perusing of this thread, skip! I've always wondered about that! Thanks!

And, I agree.......I don't judge as my heart is a big one!

If YOU think it's cheating in that you will hurt the S/O or s/he you......then it's cheating! If you think not......it's not!

Welcum to Pixies eyesopen! This is the most curious of first posts! I am the curious one....so.....how do you do? Could we know something more about you...as we spill our guts here?, (this question has been posed before). I love that you jumped right in but I'm kinda feeling like a specimen on a slide at the moment!

Well everyone seems to have there point or view.
Enjoyed reading them. Some one asked why I posted this Q.
Well just wanted to get all your views on the subject.

I've been cheated on. It destroyed our marriage (of 8 years), hurt my daughter, put me deeply in debt, wrecked my faith and self esteem, and even made me give up my dog (damn, I liked that dog!) So, no, can't say that I have anything too positive to say about affairs. It can destroy your life and those around you.
It was the deceit of it all that hurt me. I don't have a problem with "open" relationships, because it is out in the open, with your partner's input and blessing. Not saying I would feel comfortable in a relationship like that myself, but I think it is fine for those who do.

I think my S/O is discovering that I see a clear difference between being in love and falling in lust. I can truly care about someone I lust after but I am only in love with him. This is making the topic of an "open" marriage one we are discussing alot lately.

eyesopen~ Welcome! I think if you look around especially in the Gen sex forum you will find more threads on faithfullness.

I think as long as everything is out in the open there are no problems. Its when people hide things and are dishonest that problems can occur. My husband and I have recently started experimenting with a more open marriage. (I guess thats what you would call it.) We love each other and anything else that happens with anyone else does not mean there is a anything but a physical involvement on our part. As long as we are honest with each other about everything including our feelings we are both ok with it. We have also promised each other if either of us feels hurt by any of what we are doing we will stop.