Just wondering if there is a strip club in the town you live in? How close is the nearest one???

In TN I don't think they have one. You have to lure the 14 year old local slut to your house for a strip tease. Southern Baptists prefer to perv in private. (jk)

In Columbus, about 2 miles. Been there...nothing special but not bad. In TN, I honestly have no idea. I think people there hate sex.

How about a place to rent porn?

In TN (my town) no such place. In Columbus...about 1/2 mile. Now I know why I love the Midwest.

How far do you have to drive to buy a vibe?

Columbus, about a mile (can you tell I live near campus?). In TN, I've never seen such a place.

...DO you hear a theme yet?????

All about 20 minutes from my house at a place called Club Pink Pussycat.!

A strip club ............. geez ..... I am not sure maybe there is one a 2/3 hour drive away.

An dirty movie ... across the street ;)

To buy a vibe .... I am thinking roughly a 2 hour drive away.

I live in a small small town.

All in the "city" (I use the term loosely, we have only 180,000 people here), which is about a 5 minute drive away :)

Well, there are a lot of topless places here, (New Orleans) but most of the advertised "bottomless" places are tourists traps. You can buy toys and videos of any type all up and down Bourbon Street.
Ricks's is my favorite "real" topless bar, on Borbon Street, just walking distance. I have a really close friend who dances there. She has dressed me up a few times and let me help her hustle the customers for drinks and lap dances. Walking around in heels, garters and hose, a g- string (a real one, not a thong) and a transparent top was interesting. And oddly powerful, even though I collected about a thousand hand prints on my boobs and butt.
But I am not a good enough dancer to dance there for real.

What was the question?

Revealingly,

WW

Movies: 15 minutes away
Adult store: 20 minutes there, 15 to return (you can't get into it heading east and the whole area is no U turn and even lacks any good way to go around the block.)
Topless joint: 15 minutes
Bottomless juice joint: I'm not sure what some of the strip places are, maybe 15 minutes, certainly within 25.
Bottomless alcohol joint: 25 minutes. (Note: Bottomless is not allowed to be combined with alcohol--but the one place is grandfathered in.)

Note: For all places 20+ minutes, add 5 if it's evening.