NET-relations?

[souls_cry2000]

Are NET-relations a good or bad idea? Or do most turn out to be just a "good idea at the time"? And even when you decide what criteria are you looking for something physical or something relatively more intimate like personality, attitude, sex drive, pleasure/pain threshold?

[Janie]

I see nothing wrong with any of it!

[SOULMINER]

Hmmmm...good question(s)....
In my case I can't think of a single bad thing about it.
The distance can be a bummer, and who knows what the
future holds; all in all it is quite amazing!
Oh, and ummmm, as far as it being a good way to get fucked...
it is, in my case, FAR too expensive an endeavor to justify
doing it just for sex! :D

[Coach Knight]

Is there an all of the above choice? Because there really needs to be one.

The stickiness of this question could cause me to elaborate and pontificate for about a year but I will try and be brief.

I suppose none of us headed into this site with the idea of starting a relationship. I'm not sure, I am just guessing based on my original motives. I just peered around here interested in people's responses to the threads and possibly to flirt a bit.

MMMMM, a "net-relationship," I am not exactly sure what defines a relationship online. Is it mulitple cyber-sex sessions? Is it talking to the person outside of Pixies, like on AOL or MSN? Is it other contact, like via the telephone? Is it chatting or emailing every day? Is it thinking about that person when you are off of the computer?

I am not sure what defines it, obviously.

As for is it a good or bad idea? I go back to the all of the above answer. It can be innocent flirting that doesn't affect your RL relationships or in can be considered cheating (if you are involved) especially if you are looking for ways to meet that person IRL. The temptation is always there, it's just whether both parties are willing to take that risk. And if they are, are they risking the disappointment that their online lover may not be that exact same, sexy, special person face-to-face.

OK, I think I may have confused myself even more but oh well, such is the nature with online relations I think.
I call them online landmines .... you either learn how to tread carefully or it blows up.

WOW, that was a LixyChick answer. ;););)

CK

[Murphy]

I agree with coach....we gotta define "relations" I have had several levels of relationships with many Ladies, here and elsewhere, and have only made the jump to RL once. no, I wasn't dissapointed, as I didn't allow my preconceptions to interfere with the facts of her good sense of humor, imagination, and friendliness. As long as both parties agree with the purpose of the relationship, everything should be fine.

[LixyChick]

LMAO Coach....I couldn't have said it better myself! Well maybe I could have but you make me proud anyway!

*kisses*

[lizH]

The nice thing about a net relationship is that you can allow yourself to get to know the person for who they are, rather than some pre-concieved ideas based on appearance. When you meet them in person, they may not be exactly what you envisioned or expected, but you *know* them inside very well... how they think, what they like, where they are emotionally.

[horseman12]

very good points all around!!

[Omniblade]

well people be prepared to be dragged into my sad twisted world here lmao as I'll share alot of my past here

I've been online for a long time now lol lets see I'm 19 well for another month or two lol now and I've been online since oh 4 or 5 years I'd say (I really didn't go onto any porno sites when I was younger, nope nope not at all lol, ya know the thrill just isn't as much now that I'm acctually allowed to lmao)

I'm a decently shy person and mentally stable lmao well alot more now than I was back then as I've been dianosed with socialphobia as well as insomnia and suicidal depression lol yes I know boo hoo hoo for me aw well thems the past anyway as a result of this most of my relationships have been online, now I really like online relationships now anyway mainly because you get to know the person a bit better rather than basing it off of looks and I think that makes for a stronger relationship in general

lets see I've probally had about oh lets see Theresa, Melissa, Lisa, Victoria , Nicole and Shauna lol anyway I'll go over my past histories with them

Theresa was the first lol she was 14 and I was 16 (although she told me she was 16 dang it) lol anyway I was young then andi t really didn't work out all that well and it was just kind of a non serious thing as I think most relationships can't be expected to work out

Next was Melissa she seemed like a really nice girl and all but she was two faced and seemed to care about nothing more than money which really bothered me and I had gotten slightly serious about her but it just never worked out as she went though something in her life and took alot of it out on me and it kind of spoiled the whole thing, and we ended up leaving on bad terms, however since then we did meet up on better terms after the passing of some time and for a short while things were ok between us , till later....

Lisa was next, when I knew her she was a friend of mine for a long time and we kind of grew close althoguh she was probally about 2 or three years younger than me and she was usually with someone else over the time that I knew her so although we were close nothing serious ever came out of it , I recently found out she got pregnant at like 16 and that was pretty much the end of htat

aw Victoria or Tori as she perfered, she was probally the first really serious one as she was the first one that I went to visit she was a really nice girl but she had a really low self esteem and was all really down on herself which was kind of annoying but hey I was the same way back then lol so really I worked my darndest to make her feel better but I was really shy and nervous as it was really about the first time I had physical contact with a girl 9kissing and stuff) after I visited her when I got back my comp broke down and I was offline for about a month and she found someone else during that time... without telling me, lol well that hurt a bit which leads into the next

aw good ol Nicole lmao man I was fucked in the head for ever getting with that girl, anywa it was only about a month after I had broken up with Tori and I suppose looking back on it I was pretty much on the rebound but I met up with her and fell completely head over heals for the girl one of those completely non logical things that just can't be explaind, I ran up probally about close to 2500 talkin to that girl on the phone and after only about 2 months

( it was during christmas that year, I had met her in late octorber, I suppose it was more than one month after tori than lets see no I left there late august had the comp broke for sept and tori left in october and met nicole in novermber yeah that works right)

anyway I was havin alot of troubles when I was with nicole because I got really jealous, not without cause though, and ended up causing problems between us and we drifted apart before my trip there for xmas for a few reasons, mainly pressure from her friends and family oh and I should point out that her "friends" well her best friend was Mellissa, yes the same Mel from before, turns out there were best friends, whats the chances eh? well it gets worse, turns out Mel was apparently in love with nicole as well and was determined to keep me away from her because she wanted to get with her herself

well anyway moving on I headed out there and nicole pretty much ignore me the whole time I was there and I was pretty much heartbroken lol It seems so silly now as I had only known her for a few months and I was completely shattered by this girl aw well I should have known better in the first place but oh well

me and mel got into a huge fight while I was there and she ended up breaking a table over my leg lmao (yes yes thats pretty hard to explain I had been sitting down when she cracked me with it) but anyway we had a really bad breakup there and I was pretty shaken up over the whole thing when I got back and I was pretty much feeling pretty shattered when I was there

when I got back home nicole basicaly told all our online friends that I trashed her place and that I was a total ass and was abusive stuff and the whole time still tellin me she wasn't sure if she had feelings for me or not lol that really fucked with my head quite a bit eventually though I just cut off all ties with everyone I knew online, probally one of the best decisions I ever made right there

a while after that however I met shauna online, I had known her for a long as time as she was a friend of a friend and a really close friend of nicoles, but the two of us had never really talked much

well we ran into each other one night and we talked shitloads and grew really close lol turns out that shauna had had previous runins with Mel as well, apparently Mel had been posing as a guy in the past and had been screwing with shaunas head online (ya know one of those people your parents warn you to watch out for online who arne't who they say they are) well with our common ground we have buildt up a great relationship and things are so incredible between us lol

not to be completely bland though not everything is perfect like fairty tale like we have our ups and downs like everyone else but we've been together for , oh it will be two years this comming march, it's really nice that I've found someone that I plan on staying with, lol I've been to visit her quite a few times since we met and our first trip was quite a disaster the first time lmao

alrighty it was the start of summer that I left to visit her, just incase you don't know I'm from canada Novascotia and she's from Wyoming , well I went down there and got to the border and they kicked me off the bus! yes they wouldn't let me across the freakin border because I didn't have my return trip bus tickets, which I had been planning to buy when I was there cuz I didn't know exactly how long I'd be there for incase we didn't get along or something

I was quite pissed about this as when I had crossed the border previously they said just to make sure that I had about 400 dollars on me and be over 18 and thats all I needed they didn't say anything about freaking bus tickets!

well after panicing thoughly and spending the first night sleeping on a bench beside the border she ended up driving 2 days down to pick me up at the border! how romantic is that! lol well I thoguht it was great although they STILL freakin hastled us at the border , that really tics me off everytime I go to the american border they treat me like a complete criminal

well while I was there me and her mom got in a huge freakin fight , she's insanly religious and well lol I"m definatly not! some examples of her insanity?
she won't let anyone in her family watch PG13 movies
if a movie has a single swear word , including shit and damn , it's complete garbage and gets tossed out immediately
well theres plenty more but I can't think and this is already evily long

to short things up me and her parents hate me with a passion as I'm not religious enough for them lol this makes things really hard on us as her family is really close but hey they are just gonna have to learn to deal with me

we went tnough a really really rough period after that visit because of her parents wanting to get rid of me and we almost broke up and barely held together though it all but now that it's over we are stronger for it and things are great between us and I will be moving up there within the next year and a half depending on how fast I can get my visa!

lmao so all in all, I'd say online relationships are just as much of a gamble as normal ones with some being good some being great and some being simply devastating so power to the online!!! WOOT WOOT everyone

lol ^__^

[Missy1965]

Just my opinion but I have met alot of people on the Net and speaking from expierence I personally don't think it's anything substantial or real. True.... I have met some really nice people but I would just assume leave it at that. A person can lead you to believe anything they want you to believe. I decided what's best for me is going back to the old fashioned way of meeting people. Then again it depends on what you are looking for.

[lizH]

Omniblade,

I'm sorry you're getting hassled here of late at the US boarder. :(

Also, I've run into religious "freaks" giving out their hassles. It's been more with the people themselves than their parents, but I've had some problems with some of my own family members. I *try* to be nice as long as I can, then get away when I can. Sometimes though, if they managed to "trap" me somewhere where I cannot easily get my car, a bus, a taxi, or some other form of transportation, I'll let them have it with both feet.

I try to play nice. However, I am *extremely* well armed in the whole subject of religion and religious comparison.

[Toreador]

if it feels good do it.

[celticangel]

I met Dm on line and have been in the best,most fulfilling relationship since last year! Guess I was just very lucky,but with honesty and openness the change from "net" to" real life" can be truely amazing!-----(luv ya babes!)
Have met equal no. of scarey guys on and off line!!!!!

[Lilith]

I think it all depends on if the people involved view eachother as real flesh and blood humans or just fantasy lovers.........as long as their minds are on the same track either way I suppose it works!

[dm383]

I see Celticangel has already commented here, but I wanted to add my "take" on things ~ what she's not telling you is SHE made the first move!! The site we "met" on is one that sends Emails to you of new/matching members... she got my profile, responded by Emailing me and the rest, as they say, is history!!

That was the 5th October last year (don't need a diary for THAT one!) and I have had the most satisfying and amazing time with her ever since... and I don't mean in bed (although that side of things is pretty awesome too ;)) we just "clicked" straight away!!

In a kind of semi-appropriate answer to your ? souls..... like most sites, you have to put in some kind of preferences, just so you don't get 100's of Emails every day!! But I wasn't looking for "someone/thing in particular, just was VERY lucky and found a very particular, lovely, sexy SPECIAL woman.

And I love her.

DM

[Incubus255]

lol anyone else ever look back at something you once wrote and want to kick yourself in the head for it? lmao

[osuche]

I'd be very cautious at first...but I think you can get to know someone very well..just using words. Perhaps better than in RL...higher signal to noise ratio.

However, I'm pretty picky about my men...and I don't like just "getting fucked" without some type of mental connection...so it would have to be the right person.

[pinkbutton]

i met my "friend " online about a year ago it will be in novemeber and from that day i havent looked back apart from fucjking each opthers brains out as some of u will know we are also best mates and tell each other absoultely everything . only problem is i live in the uk and he lives in france. :( . apart from being my best mate though he tuns me on soooooooooo much . people seem to get the wrong idea about meeting people online and i think they have been blnkered by the media cause all you ever hear about frm the media is the things that have gone wrong when people have met online. there are some bad people out there yeah but then there are also some loving caring and very nice people out there.

[Grumble]

I have been very badly burnt by an online relationship but mainly I have made some incredible friends and think I have met the woman who i will spend the rest of my life with.
Yes you can lie and be deceived but face to face relationships are fraught with the same risk.
Most people are decent i have found but the ones that aren't have more scope because of the degree of anonymity that you can have online

[Prophet Reality]

There are pluses and minuses. But I have meet some great people online, a lot from Pixies itself. I have meet a couple in person, and so far have not been disapointed. And no we did not get together just to fuck either. But I don't think it is all bad. I have had my share of burns, but that happens in RL as well as online. If someone wants to lie, they will do it either way.

[firefly]

I'm engaged to a wonderful man that I met in an online chat. We talked for a couple of years before meeting IRL, and have been together five and a half years now.
The biggest problem is the distance. I think that if you want a long-term relationship then you should stick to people in your own area. Phone bills and flights are too expensive so you should think long and hard about what would happen if you actually fell for someone before you start something with them.
Now we're faced with someone having to move to another continent so that we can be together. It's a tough situation to be in.
My best friend has met her boyfriends online for years, but she only talks to guys who live in our city. Most of her relationships were short lived, but she's independent so it worked for her.
Just evaluate what it is you want, and go into it with your eyes open. Be safe (that coming from someone who flew to northern Europe for three weeks to stay with someone I only knew from online).

<Yup, this is my first post. I'm a forum virgin here so be nice.>

[WildIrish]

Hey I'll take all the friends I can get, right? I mean, who here doesn't need someone to talk to once in awhile? A place to go where everybody knows your name? Sometimes an online friend is even better and closer than a real life one because there are things I've told my online buddy that I've NEVER discussed with my r/l pals! I'd be willing to go out on a limb and say "you'll get better advice online than in the real world". But, for that to work, you need to be honest!

Anyway, it's a good thing.