How to get him in the mood..

[Blaze]

Lately my husband doesnt get in the mood, our sex life went from everytime we saw eachother to maybe once every three or four months. Anyone have any Ideas on how to get him back to he was?
We've been married for 2 years now and its slowly gotten worse.
Please Help!

[Lilith]

Does he come here? If not bring him, show him, remind him of how great an active sex life is.

I would also suggest when you get ready to go to bed that you offer to read him a "bedtime story" and read him an erotic story (lots of sexy choices here).

Good Luck! Keep us posted!

[Steph]

It could be stress, too . . . if work has been stressful for him lately, it could be putting a damper on his sex drive. How about cooking a nice supper and eating it by candle light? Try to get the conversational ball rolling . . .

[Blaze]

I havent tried with this forum but I did try with yesroom and he didnt really want to, I'll try the bedtime storie idea, I just wrote a story to post on here I'll read it to him. I've done the dinner thing too it was nice but he just went up stairs to work. Before we married he couldnt keep his hands off me and now even though he still fondles me we dont go any farther then that. But he does like to coudle so I get mixed signals. And I'm getting to the point that I dont even bring it up much anymore.

[naughtyeddie]

well, i can understand your frustration.

and i can understand your husbands position.

if i dont have sex for a while i dont feel like often, but if i have wild sex on a sunday, i can go for 4 rounds a day,

the most i have gone is 16 rounds a week and i had a rest day, but that was a long distance relationship.

the longest i have not been interested was 2 years, after i broke up with a girlfriend.

so may be he needs to have a long weekend away from home and work and thaen be seducced after dinner and a romantic walk.

dont go any where too lively or with too many activities/disttractions. no ny, miami, disneyland or new orleans. somewhere quiet and boreing, you must then suduce him with what he likes

a week end of wild opassionate sex should give things a jumpstart.


you also need to speak to him about his obsession about work, create balance. money is not everything, there is a lot more to life and passsion is far more valuable than money.

let me know how things go

[email protected]

[jennaflower]

Blaze...

I lived in a marriage for far too long and went months without sex.. in my case tho.. it was my doing.. for reasons I didn't understand at the time.

Men (no matter what THEY say) are some of the most complex animals on this planet. They deal with outside stressors much differently than the rest of us.. and they tend to internalize it when they have it.

For the most part, men are raised to believe that the weight of (their) world rests only on their shoulders. Because of the stress that causes they silently allow it to effect the rest of their life... often without giving a clue to their partner.. Not only does this often cause a lack of sexual desire but it is also a leading cause of death.... it takes its toll.

My advice to you is to show him that you love him, that you respect him, and that you need him in more than just sexual ways. I have no doubt that you already to this, but it might be that whatever stressors he has in his life cloud his ability to see it. Spend time pampering him.. attempt (even in the smallest ways) to lighten his load.

I wish you well.. Hugs..

[ericthered]

Blaze,
Sorry but it's panic time. A radical change in behaviour like that means that something is wrong somewhere. I wouldn't presume to offer suggestions on exactly how to handle it but you need to find out what is at the bottom of it. Don't concentrate on the sex but look a bit wider.

You both need to communicate, and you might find you need professional help.

[Blaze]

Thank you all for your advise. I'll think about what each of you have said. *smile*

[denny]

ETR is right on it. Get help to deal with it. Good luck.

[Wildeye]

Blaze

Jennaflower (she is so cool.) is right guys are very complex. I cannot tell you what to do, I would ask exactly waht you ahve asked here, but to him. Choose the moment, do it without pressure - tell him how you feel, find out how he feels and lokk for a way forward together. Trust and honesty.

Good luck, you sound cool to me!! I'd snog you (In England that means kissing!!)

Wildeye

[jennaflower]

wildeye... I am cool? Thank you.. very much :)

[Wildeye]

Jennaflower

Look even the name is cool, and the advice and comments are cool, and well,, sexy.

love and all

wildeye